Snack Patrol
by mah29732
Summary: It is the year 3012, and Dib, Gaz and their father Professor Membrane have frozen themselves to experience the future, but so has Zim. Only Zim has found out that his title of Invader is no longer valid for the Tallest, and Tak is the Irken Ambassador to Earth overseeing shipments of snack tributes to the Irken capital.
1. More Employees from the Past

Snack Patrol

Chapter 1: More Employees from the Past

It's the year 3012, in Planet Express it was a typical day for its employees, a certain Professor Farnsworth had news that three new employees would be joining them, everyone at the Planet Express were at a meeting with the Professor.

"Good news everyone" said Professor Farnsworth, "three knew employees from Fry's own century will be joining us as employees."

"And just what poor souls decided to crawl out of the freezer this time?" asked Bender as he had an open beer with him.

"I'll like to introduce ourselves to Dib and Gaz Membrane" said Hermes.

"Yes, both were frozen by their father at age 25, about Fry's age" continued Professor Farnsworth.

"I can't believe I got talked into this" said Gaz as she came into the room with her brother and their father Professor Membrane.

"I decided to take this as an opportunity to show my son here that not all aliens are bad" added Professor Membrane.

"It'd be good to have another smart individual besides me working around here" laughed Professor Farnsworth.

"Well, at least on the plus side I won't have to hear about Zim anymore or the Irken Empire" said Dib.

"Oh, I am afraid you're quite wrong at least on the Irken Empire, for you see, our Earth President had signed a treaty with the Irken Empire to giving them snacks as part of our tribute providing that they won't invade us" added Professor Farnsworth.

"When did this happened?" asked Dib.

"When you were released from your frozen chamber" added Dr. Zoidberg.

But Dib would soon be wrong about not meeting up with Zim again, for Zim hadn't grown an inch and decided it would be best to conquer Earth at another time and century so long as there was no Dib in that century. At least a thousand years had passed which the Irken had frozen himself, which his Computer ended up releasing him.

"All done!" laughed Gir who was waiting all those years beside Zim.

"Gir, what year is this?" asked Zim.

"3012!" laughed Gir, "I have been sitting here all this time!"

"Please, take him out, you don't know what he's been doing" said the Computer which was fed up with Gir.

"Time to greet the Tallest" said Zim.

Indeed the Irken was going to get a surprise of his life, both the Red and Purple Tallest were also surprised to finally receive contact from Earth itself.

"Greetings my dear Tallest" said Zim.

"Zim, it's been how long as it been?" asked the Red Tallest.

"A thousand years" laughed the Purple Tallest.

"Yea, so what brings you here?" asked the Red Tallest.

"Tallest, since that Earth monkey Dib no longer exists by default, I have decided you can send in your Armada now to wipe out Earth's defenses" said Zim.

"Uh, you haven't heard of our treaty with Earth?" asked the Red Tallest.

"See, Zim, we have decided Earth isn't worth it to conquer, we're stretched too much" continued the Purple Tallest.

"So having Earth giving us snacks as tribute as the next best thing we can think of" continued the Red Tallest.

"But, I spent my entire life here trying to conquer Earth, I'm an Invader!" cried Zim.

"Sorry Zim, until something comes up with the treaty itself being void, well have a nice day" said the Red Tallest.

"And don't worry, we'll ship a sandwich to you" laughed the Purple Tallest.

Zim then screams quite loudly throughout his base which could be heard across the globe and eventually to Planet Express where its employees were still in a meeting.

"What, was that an echo?" asked Bender who heard Zim's cry.

"Who cares" said Professor Farnsworth, "we have been delivered an opportunity to help ship snacks to the Irken Empire capital!"

"What, I'm going to join you going to my former enemies' capital?" asked Dib.

"Yes, this would be a fine experience to show you that even a marauding alien empire like the Irkens can be civilized" continued Professor Farnsworth.

"I'm going too" added Gaz.

"Oh yes, I couldn't agree more, we're just receiving one more guest who'll arrive at any minute" added Professor Farnsworth.

Indeed that guess was an Irken that Dib had long encountered before, Tak was approaching Planet Express, as she entered the building it was rather a dump of a place.

"Great, this is the company that'd send my empire its tribute?" asked Tak.

"Madame Ambassador" said Hermes as he noticed her entrance, "come follow me, everyone's waiting for you."

As Hermes took Tak to the meeting, Dib gasped in surprise to finding Tak with Hermes.

"Tak?" cried Dib as he noticed her, "You look, eh, taller."

"Yes" said Tak, "and I have been appointed as the Ambassador to Earth from the Irken Empire."

"So, you two know each other?" asked Professor Farnsworth.

"Apparently yes, she tried to take over the world one time" added Dib.

"Well the title of Invader for the planet Earth is now invalid" continued Tak, "I have been assigned to ensure you Earthlings pay tribute in snacks to the Irken Empire."

"Do you think Zim's going to be upset if he is alive?" asked Gaz.

Indeed, Zim was already upset over the Tallest revoking his Invader title against Earth. He was screaming his head off still in his base while tearing it apart.

"I can help you give information who else doesn't like the treaty on Earth" said the Computer.

"What, and be an ally with them?" cried Zim.

"Hey, it works if you make the treaty void between the Irken Empire and Earth, they'll have no choice but to put you as the Invader again" continued the Computer.

"Ha, Computer, show me who is the one that's upset on this planet as much as I am" continued Zim.

As the Computer did its search it showed the picture of Mom and MomCorp.

"Mom who runs MomCorp had once a monopoly over the snack industry on Earth, but now she's losing profit because of the treaty, she'll have no choice but to submit" continued the Computer.

"Gir!" said Zim.

"Yes?" asked Gir.

"We're going on a trip to visit this Mom" continued Zim.

"Oh boy, I get to visit a mommy!" laughed Gir.

As the Irken was prepared to hunt for an ally, Planet Express was prepared to make its first delivery of snacks to the Irken capital not knowing what may happen next should Zim find out that Dib is still around.


	2. Mom's Lost Monopoly

Chapter 2: Mom's Lost Monopoly

Mom was pretty upset that she had lost her monopoly thanks to the treaty with the Irken Empire. She was still quite busy yelling at her trio of sons, Walt, Larry and Igner.

"I just can't believe those Irkens beat me to the punch!" cried Mom.

"Well, if the treaty were broken we'd be at war with the Irken Empire" said Walt.

"Hmm, that may help boost my other part of my monopoly" said Mom which she typically ended up slapping her trio of sons in the faces anyway.

"Ouch, that hurt!" cried Larry.

"Mommy, why do the green people want our snacks?" asked Igner.

"It's tribute!" cried Mom, "Unpaid tribute which they'll refuse to pay me a dime!"

Mom then slaps her trio of sons twice in a row just being angry that the Irkens are getting the snacks free because of the treaty. Suddenly there was a computer alarm going off.

"What, an intruder?" cried Mom as she headed to the console, a single Irken ship was heading their way.

"Those green men are angry at us!" cried Igner.

"Wait, it's just a single ship, what could this Irken possibly want?" said Mom.

As Mom was trying to tap into the Irken ship, Zim who was riding on his ship tapped into her computer.

"Greetings Mom" said Zim, "if that is your real name."

"Hi mommy!" laughed Gir as he was on the computer screen waving.

"I have a proposition for you on getting rid of the pathetic treaty between Earth and the Irken Empire" continued Zim.

"What, what do you have to gain if the treaty is broken?" asked Mom.

"I get my title as Invader reinstated, and I get to conquer Earth myself, and Tak would look so shameful being the Ambassador to Earth, that they'll make me the lead invader!" laughed Zim.

"Uh, can I talk to you?" asked Walt to Mom.

"Yea I don't see why not" said Mom.

"He's nuts" whispered Walt, "if we help him, we'll become his next targets if he manages to win."

"Oh don't be so silly, just look how stupidly short he is, how the heck is he going to harm you?" asked Mom, "Why not play along into helping the Irken out?"

"Hmm, that might work" said Walt.

"Alright, we're all ears to your plan" said Mom.

"I have devised up a plan that the delivery of snacks to the Irken capital will be sabotaged" said Zim.

"But, if you attack them with your ship, it'd be the obvious that they'll know who attacked them" said Walt.

"Which is why I want you three to be behind Earth designated ships" continued Zim, "thinking that the Tallest seeing their precious cargo being destroyed by puny pathetic Earthlings should infuriate them!"

"Hmm, that might actually work, my monopoly doesn't just also revolve around snacks but also is affiliated with Earth's military contracts" continued Mom.

"See, I know I am going to get the title of Invader back sooner!" laughed Zim.

As the rogue Irken was preparing to help Mom sabotage the Tallest main supplies of snacks, Planet Express had just receive a large shipment of snacks ready to go.

"You know, I think I am just going to store a few of these away" laughed Bender who was stealing some candy out of the crates.

"Drop that, it's Irken property!" said Tak as she was prepared to tear Bender to pieces.

"Just what are you going to do about it?" asked Bender.

Bender ends up getting his head kicked off his body by Tak which shocks Dib who was helping out Fry and Leela move some crates of snacks into the ship.

"Bender, did you lose your head again?" asked Fry.

"I was just trying to store some snacks for myself" said Bender.

"They are for the Irkens Bender, please for the safety of the Earth, no more messing with the Irkens" continued Leela.

"Fine, I'll get up as soon as my body starts to walk this way" said Bender.

As Bender's body came up to pick up Bender's head, the robot decided to go back to work, yet the only other worker who wasn't working was obviously Gaz as she had somehow acquired another one of the year's biggest videogames.

"How the heck did you get that game so quickly?" asked Dib to Gaz.

"Dad's money" continued Gaz.

"Hey, here I was being criticized as being lazy when I spots a lazy person here" said Bender as he noticed Gaz doing nothing.

"Please you don't understand don't go up against Gaz" said Dib.

"Yea you talking machine, learn from my lame brother" added Gaz.

"I'll be taking this" said Bender as he grabbed her videogame handheld console she was playing with and placed it where he tried to hide the snacks he was stealing.

"Give it back!" roared Gaz.

"Make me" laughed Bender.

Gaz went ballistic as she ended up charging at Bender, Bender ran for his life as he could run faster from Gaz than from Tak.

"Somebody help me, the new girl has gone crazy!" cried Bender.

Gaz continued to case the bending robot until she ended up tackling him, during her beat down of poor Bender, Professor Farnsworth and his new colleague Professor Membrane along with Zoidberg and Hermes walked into the scene and noticed Gaz was beating up poor Bender.

"I just wanted her to be productive!" cried Bender who was purposely trying to get Gaz into trouble.

"Enough of this!" cried Professor Farnsworth, "I've seen enough, and here I thought Leela was the only one to be this reckless!"

"That's my sister for you" said Dib.

"So she's been like this more than once?" asked Professor Farnsworth, "Membrane, do you have any knowledge your daughter has a behavior issue?"

"My children have always behaved pretty well" continued Professor Membrane who typically never saw Gaz in action like this.

"Well, you may have been absent minded back in the 20th Century, but here I am not going to let another worker beat up another one" continued Professor Farnsworth.

"You think we should try the collar on her like we did with Leela?" asked Dr. Zoidberg.

"Hmm, I got an even better idea" laughed Professor Farnsworth, "it'll only take a few minutes before I'll setup a form of punishment."

As Professor Farnsworth was setting up some kind of punishment for Gaz, a certain rogue Irken and his allies were ready to take on the Planet Express crew and other envoys of snacks for the Irken Empire capital.


	3. Envoy Heading Out

Chapter 3: Envoy Heading Out

Planet Express was just about ready in putting the shipment containments onto the main ship, however Professor Farnsworth still wanted to prevent Gaz from beating up on any of her fellow crewmates. So he had the shock collar placed on Gaz, but unlike the previous collar this one would be controlled by Bender who was previously beaten up by Gaz awhile ago.

"This is so that you won't beat up any of your fellow crewmates" said Professor Farnsworth.

"Now honey, I think it's for your own good" said Professor Membrane who didn't seem to care about Gaz.

"Why you!" cried Gaz which Bender then pressed a button which ended up shocking Gaz.

"Can I try that, Gaz has always been beating me up" added Dib.

"Sure thing" laughed Bender who loaned Dib the controller.

Dib ends up pressing the button shocking Gaz which causes her to get even more angry at Dib.

"When I get out of this collar I'm going to pound the both of you!" cried Gaz who was shocked again by the collar as Dib pressed the button.

As the Planet Express crew were ready to head onto the ship and head off, just outside Earth's atmosphere was the ship known as Nimbus with its captain Zapp Brannigan. Typically Kif Kroker was beside him.

"Kif, I am quite pleased that we're going to be part of the envoy to protect the Irken's snack tribute" said Zapp.

"Oh, I should mention that the Irken Ambassador is going to travel with Planet Express as the main flagship of the envoy" continued Kif.

"Excellent" said Zapp, "but they'll need someone to make sure no one would be stupid enough to blow up the precious cargo."

As Zapp and Kif both saw the Earth ships lining up to deliver the tribute snacks to the Irken capital, meanwhile, Mom was plotting some strategies on how to attack the envoy.

"We're going to need a lot of firepower if we're going to make them think the Irkens have betrayed the treaty" said Mom to Zim.

"Don't worry, I have a few spare ships that my computer has already built" continued Zim.

"We're going to also need to know which ship the Irken Ambassador is going to be on" added Mom.

"According to our data, the Irken Ambassador is going to be on the Planet Express ship" said Walt.

"So who is the sap the Tallest decided to promote to Ambassador" said Zim.

Suddenly a picture of Tak showed up, which showed that she had grown to be much taller than Zim.

"Tak?" cried Zim.

"You know this Irken?" asked Mom.

"She tried to take my job as an Invader of Earth" said Zim.

"Hmm, this might be interesting after all" said Mom.

"When are we going to get on those fancy ships mommy?" asked Ignes to Mom.

"Soon" laughed Mom.

Meanwhile as the envoy was getting ready to go, Zapp Brannigan was ready to greet the envoy ships as he was going to help guard their cargo.

"I must say I am very impressed that you have decided to choose Planet Express as your flagship Madame Ambassador" said Zapp to Tak as they were communicating via computer screens.

"Just stay out of my way when I'm leading" said Tak.

As the Irken took the seat next to the captain's seat, Fry soon found out he didn't have a place to sit.

"Say isn't that my seat?" asked Fry to Tak.

"I don't see your name on it" replied Tak in a rude manner.

"Fry let the Ambassador sit where she wants to sit" said Leela.

"Yea, listen to your friend" said Tak.

As Fry had to sit in another seat, Bender and Dib were trading the remote controller to pick on poor Gaz, every time that she was going to rise in anger, she was shocked with the shock collar as either Bender or Dib pressed the button on the remote controller.

"Stop it!" cried Gaz as the two were enjoying it.

"Only if you say please in a nice way!" laughed Bender who continued to do it.

"Yea, just say one nice thing about me and we'll leave you alone for about an hour" added Dib.

"I think you are the nicest brother" said Gaz as she was struggling to say it which she ended up getting shocked.

"Was not believable!" laughed Bender.

Poor Gaz ends up getting shocked again by both Bender and Dib who both laugh at her predicament.

"Come on, stop goofing off, we should be heading out now" said Leela.

As she geared up the Planet Express to head out with the other ships in the envoy, Leela was ready for anything that'd come about. But for a certain rogue Irken, he wasn't about to let the envoy even make it to his people's capital planet.

"The envoy's heading off!" cried Mom as she and her trio of sons were running with the Irken to Zim's spare ships.

"We'll head them off at the asteroid belt" said Zim.

As the Irken got into his ship, Walt, Larry and Ignes joined the rogue Irken in their fake Irken ships and followed the rogue Irken's trial.

"You better hope your plan would succeed for your own shake!" screamed Mom as the four ships were leaving her main base.

The rogue Irken had hoped his plans would succeed if he wanted to ever become an Invader of Earth again.


	4. Ambush by Zim

Chapter 4: Ambush by Zim

Planet Express was indeed leading the envoy toward the Irken capital, the envoy needed to get out of the solar system in order to go into hyperspace to head toward the Irken capital.

"You'd all be just glad to have me onboard giving you the coordinates to my empire's capital" said Tak.

"Does your planet have robots?" asked Bender.

"They're called Ser bots" continued Tak.

"So what the heck does a Ser bot usually do?" asked Bender.

"Usually back when I was an Invader, a Ser bot would be a Servant bot helping an Irken conquer a planet of choice" continued Tak.

"I see" said Bender.

"We're heading toward the asteroid belt, so brace yourselves" said Leela.

As the envoy continued to the asteroid belt, Zim along with Walt, Larry and Ignes thanks to Zim's technology had managed to make it to the perfect ambush setting.

"Space makes me sick" said Ignes.

"Oh please, can we get over with this?" asked Walt to Zim.

"As soon as the pathetic envoy reaches our ambush zone, we'll attack!" laughed Zim.

After a few minutes of waiting, the envoy was already on its way with the ship Nimbus helping out adding more firepower protection to the envoy itself.

"I am so glad to join this snack patrol envoy" laughed Zapp, "Kif, let's hope the Irken leaders give us medals for this, as our own."

"Well, that'd make sense I guess" said Kif.

As the envoy continued, it entered in the zone of where Zim, Walt, Larry and Ignes were preparing to ambush them.

"Now!" cried Zim.

The trio of brothers whom were using pseudo Irken ships charged at the envoy and began to fire upon them, destroying a few of the ships which the crews of those ships had to abandon.

"What the, who's firing on us, Kif is it pirates, space pirates are often nasty bunch" said Zapp.

"Uh, I don't think so, they appear to be uh, Irken?" said Kif as he was rather surprised.

"This is a direct violation of our treaty!" cried Zapp.

"You fool!" cried Tak as she suddenly appeared on the computer screen, "I know what an Irken ship looks like, and I do not think the Tallest would give such an order."

"Ha, how do you know?" asked Zapp.

"Because if it did come from the Tallest, why would my arch nemesis Zim be flying in one of those ships?" cried Tak.

Tak knew which ship that Zim was flying as she had figured out Zim's plans knowing that he'd no longer be an Invader of Earth.

"Get me connected to that lone Irken ship!" ordered Tak.

"Let me guess, Zim's onboard that ship" replied Dib.

"So get to it!" ordered Tak.

As Dib went ahead to hack into Zim's ship, Tak's image soon appeared within Zim's computer.

"Hello Zim" said Tak.

"Tak, how did you know I would be behind such a deed like this?" asked Zim.

"Not very hard to figure out that you froze yourself for a thousand years only to find out that you are no longer needed by the Tallest, now when I get back to the home planet alive, I'll make sure the Tallest try you for treason!" laughed Tak.

"No, the Tallest would never believe such a liar like you, then I'll just make up my own story that you are here to dismantle the title of Invader for ALL IRKENS!" laughed Zim.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, it's just Earth and any other planet that agrees with the treaty!" continued Tak.

"Yea Zim, you've bugged us enough on Earth, time to be an Invader somewhere else" added Dib.

"Ha, Zim will never give up his title of being the Invader of Earth!" laughed Zim.

Zim soon began to fire missiles and lasers at the flagship Nimbus which was the sole ship that could fire back at the envoy ships.

"Kif, I think you deserve to be captain, oh don't worry about Amy, I'll take good care of her" said Zapp as he was trying to head to an escape pod.

But another blast from the rogue Irken's ship sent Zapp flying right into the air and crashing quite hard on the floor.

"I guess that leaves me to drag you to an escape pod" sighed Kif.

As Kif had to do some extra labor with that chore, the only other capable ship within the envoy was the ship belonging to Planet Express.

"So, these four want to play rough" said Leela.

"I think I should steer the ship" said Tak.

"What, you?" asked Leela.

"You don't have what it takes to beat another Irken at his own gain" continued Tak.

"She's right Leela, you've never faced a crazy green guy like this Zim" added Fry.

"Fine, but when this is over, I want to take control back of the ship" continued Leela.

"Agreed" said Tak.

As Tak took control over the ship, Zim started to chase after the Planet Express ship and continued to fire at the ship. Larry and Walt continued to follow Zim with Ignes following closely behind the two.

"Full speed ahead!" cried Zim, "I'm going to knock that ship out of space and get my title back as the Invader of Earth!"

"And mommy would give us higher allowances!" laughed Ignes.

As the four continued onward with their attack against the Planet Express ship, Tak was hoping to outmaneuver the rogue Irken and Mom's sons.


	5. Losing Zim

Chapter 5: Losing Zim

Tak took control of the Planet Express ship, she was desperately trying to lose Zim and Mon's trio of sons whom were following them.

"Keep on firing!" cried Zim.

As Mom's trio of sons fired upon the Planet Express ship, Tak soon found an asteroid maze which she felt she could lose the four.

"Ha, let's get them lost!" laughed Tak.

As she steered the ship through the asteroid maze, Ignes ended up scratching up his ship quite a bit.

"Can we go home now?" asked Ignes to those chasing the Planet Express ship.

"No, they must be destroyed!" laughed Zim.

Zim then fired a large missile from his ship, but all the missile ended up hitting was some large slab of rocks that were on an asteroid.

"Move out!" cried Walt as he and his brothers steered clear of the rocks, "I expected Ignes to make that kind of an error!"

"Yea, hey!" cried Ignes.

"Hmm, I think we'll beat them to the home Irken planet" said Zim.

"You better have a plan" said Walt.

"Oh, it's a very clever plan" laughed Zim.

As Zim ended up leading the way to the Irken home planet, meanwhile, Planet Express had ended up stopping back with the remaining ships in the envoy.

"Hmm, looks like we lost that Zim" said Tak as she ended up giving controls back to Leela.

"About time" said Leela.

As Planet Express ended up heading to the Irken planet with ease, Zim who was racing against time was trying to find a shortcut to his home planet so that he could reach there before hand.

"So what's your plan already?" asked Larry to Zim.

"Plan is very simple, plead to the Tallest that Tak is a traitor who is going to explode the precious cargo ships into pieces" continued Zim.

"That actually might work" said Walt, "we just need to know where the ships will be landing."

"I think I know where they just might land" laughed Zim.

For the envoy, the Planet Express ship ended up landing on the Irken capital along with also the other remaining envoy ships.

"I must say, I am rather impressed with this" said the Purple Tallest as he noticed Tak was getting out of the Planet Express ship.

"Tallest" said Tak, "I have arrived with your precious cargo from Earth as tribute from its people to the Irken Empire."

"I see, and you've done a wonderful job making sure most of the envoy ships had arrived on time" added the Red Tallest.

"Tallest, Tallest, Tallest!" cried Zim who ended up landing his ship along with the trio of Mom's sons' ships.

"This is his plan?!" cried Walt as he couldn't believe he was more clueless than Ignes.

Gir ended up sneaking around the back, yet what Zim didn't know that Gir ended up placing the explosives onto the ships that the four came right on.

"Tallest, I have urgent news, Tak is going to betray you by blowing up the precious cargo!" cried Zim.

Suddenly no explosion ended up happening.

"I said, Tak is going to betray you!" cried Zim.

"Okay!" laughed Gir.

As Gir pressed the remote button instead of destroying the envoy ships, it destroyed Zim's ship along with the ships that Mom's sons came in.

"What?!" cried Walt to which he turned to Zim in anger, "That was your plan?!"

"Ignes could make a better plan that you!" added Larry.

"Yea!" added Ignes.

"Hmm, so Zim, you have been trying to back stab us" said the Red Tallest as suddenly Irken guards showed up surrounding Zim and Mom's trio of sons.

"Please, we'll plead with you, it was all of HIS idea!" said Walt to the Tallest referring about Zim.

"Then upon the mercy of the Irken leaders I grant you not guilty" continued the Red Tallest.

"But as for Zim, guards take him away!" ordered the Purple Tallest.

"Yes, Zim is heading to jail!" laughed Dib who saw Zim screaming frantically as he was trying to get himself out of the Irken guards' grasps.

"Zim is innocent I tell you, Tak is the one behind this!" cried Zim.

"Bye, bye Zim, maybe in another thousand years you'll mature enough" laughed Tak.

As the rogue Irken is taken away to some far away off planet for hard labor, the scene ends with the Irken leaders happily receiving the snack tribute from Earth, along with other planets that agreed to similar treaties.


End file.
